On a related note, how would you go about unloading an extra organ?

The wife and I just moved into the suburbs after a couple of years in the middle of nowhere, and we were happy to learn our dog doesn’t freak out when fireworks go off. Unfortunately, we also learned last night that she’ll blindly chase any animal she kinda sees. Two baths at 1:15 am later, and our dog only mildly…

I was trying to watch it, but when I searched for All Takes Matter on my DVR I couldn’t find it. What the hell, guys?

Why have I even bothered with the playoff beard in support of this team if it doesn’t work?

What’s a joke?

Shameless self-promotion FTW.

After their summer chat, he stopped the finger wag, and began yelling “WHO WANTS TO SEX BIYOMBO?!?” instead.

“God, nothing beats taking a big steaming dump on Leitch. You should see how mad he gets!”

“The choice of Samoura—a Senegalese woman with a long history in humanitarian aid work—was heralded for its demonstration of a commitment to diversity, as she became both the first woman and the first African to hold that title.”

Walt Williams

Here’s hoping she found a backdoor to heaven.

When asked to elaborate on his comments, Jackie shook her head and Doug declined, then pointed to the sky.

Time to add some more suckers to the Deadspin Infinite Chain Email of Death!

For the love of God, as a Sharks fan, don’t subject me to that.

They don’t care how far you can punt a football.

When my in-laws find a way to compare [insert Democrat here] to Hitler I find myself listening to stuff that I know they would hate. Mostly because it wasn’t made in the 50's. Also partly because I don’t think they’re too fond of black people.

I’m following JJ Redick around and telling him he’s the most hated player in college basketball.

A couple of good friends are having a baby in a couple of weeks, and the mother just started “researching” vaccines. I said my piece and left it alone, but now her anti-vaxxer friend is attacking (even after she said cut it out, the friend apologized by saying how “wrong” I was about the benefits of vaccines). I’m…

“God dammit.”

My brother somehow thinks that the Warriors aren’t fun to watch, and gives me Steph Curry as an example of why. Apparently the exact scenario you bring up is somehow boring basketball. I’m beginning to think that when he asked to be bodyslammed again and again as a toddler that I probably should have worried.