Some airports have kiosks where you put in your plate number, it shows you a picture of your parked car and the location.

The armored minivan is a terrible idea - they’ll just shoot out your tires. Its designed to let the guards inside stay safe and radio for help.
What you need is something fast, decent handling enough room for your goons and your goods, doesn’t draw attention.
For $15K you can find an ‘08 Benz E63 sedan. Boring…

There was a show called Masterminds, each episode focused on one criminal who had a clever way to commit a crime and got away with it many times. Until one bit of bad luck.

You think the car wash employees won’t notice, or passerby?

In order to be the crime of theft, the prosecutor would have to prove you had an intent to deprive the rightful owner of their property. Finding money on the road would not, I think, convince a jury you had intent to deprive.

Think of the huge manatees!

Can I skip the cop sex but still keep the money?

I’d like to know exactly what law they are referring to.  I’m not a lawyer but it looks like abandoned property to me. Same reason the cops can go through your trash without a warrant, or take DNA from a soda can you tossed.

And if they track you down, what would they charge you with? You didn’t steal it.

GM product from the mid 2000s with over 150K on the odometer? CP at anything over $3K. The electricals will fail at a rate that makes VW owners blush, likely that 5 cylinder wouldn’t do well on a compression test, expect things like motor mounts and other load bearing parts to stop bearing loads at any moment. The…

I owned a first gen SLK with a manual. Short wheelbase, RWD, very fun.

For that kind of money you can find a clean Blackbird, a far superior successor. I had a 2003. Incredibly smooth, even though it was an inline 4 instead of a V - everything was rubber mounted. Red line in first gear was 72 mph, third gear at 110 you could loft the front wheel easily. All day comfort. Put some soft…

Nah, in great shape this is - at best - a $2500 bike. I really doubt Kawa still supplies parts for this, which knocks down the value. Its from the era of bikes with engines that could write checks the brakes couldn’t cash. For that kind of money I could get an early 2000s Blackbird - far smoother, far better brakes…

“How big is your 12-inch pizza?”

I was at a bar that put out pitchers of water, with slices of lemons and limes floating on them, and plastic cups, at the end of the bar.
Some idiot walks up, sticker her hand in the water pitcher and grabs a slice of fruit. And looks at me and giggles.
Then looked super butthurt when I told her she was an idiot with…

The weather forecast says it will rain. We know that’ll mean no F-35s, and likely no Blue Angels.
Enough rain and the trucks carrying those tanks won’t be able to roll on to the dirt/grass to offload them, as the weight would mean the trucks get stuck in the mud.
I smell fiasco.

The Sherman tanks are the new stealth version. They’re invisible!

Are you familiar with Henry Ford’s anti-semitism and admiration for Hitler? Hitler gave him a medal.

Also, I’m disgusted by anyone pulling a gun when there is no threat of death or great bodily harm. Now there is a chance that there was such a threat here. Separate from the issue of this ridiculously inappropriate charge.

American law has the concept of “fighting words” that essentially says you’re waiving your self defense claim by inviting someone to take a swing. Beyond that, its why we have juries, to make findings of fact.
My problem here is not determining the facts, its that they are using the circumstances to make a ridiculous…