That comment just made me blush and put a big exaggerated grin on my face!

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

Though historically, people from Oklahoma were 3 times more likely to use the letter K than any of the ones you listed.

This is the appropriate unified response. “You’re not concerned about fallout, Ms. Gordon? Ok. See how unconcerned you are when nobody covers your barely-mediocre team.”

The reason all ex-presidents and their families seem to be bonded and affectionate after they leave office, even if they ostensibly disagree passionately on every policy element possible, is because on one’s first day in office the generals come in and they show you the aliens, and all the big ideas that people ran on…

Actually, A GREAT POINT MADE BY BLOGGER TOM LEY and furthermore LET’S ALL LISTEN TO WHAT TOM LEY JUST SAID.

Man named Dick Fiddler: I demand you respect where I came from.

They’re fine with that ‘cause Uber users are hip young millennials. They just wanted to make sure they had a location as far away from MARTA as possible so that those people wouldn’t be able to make it up to games.

So a dead guy comes back to life once he lands in a city called Phoenix, but somehow Christianity deserves the credit? Bullshit.

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking.

I wouldn’t tweet a thing, just start following depraved porn accounts, racist accounts, etc, and then let somebody else discover it.

Running in the zoo seems like a good choice. It’ll sure as shit make everyone who sees you think “What the fuck are they running from?”

The Padres has a farm system too.

I’m with the librarian about Point #2. You can’t expect a library to get rid of all the children’s books with subtle sexist messages. Even if the library just got rid of all the books with OVERT sexist messages, it wouldn’t carry any European fairy tales. (Except Hansel and Gretel. Gretel’s a badass.) I think the…

“I talk with my hands,” Menzl said.

“So it’s Pewdiepies fault that this game is shit?”

Should one of us keel over and die suddenly, my wife and I have granted each other permission to seek solace from a designated “crush” assuming they are single and willing. We also agreed not to divulge who the “crush” is unless the other can correctly guess it. She got mine on the first try, I still have no clue who…

There’s a really great story about him being awesome at Behind Closed Ovens. Basically he didn’t realize the restaurant he brought his family to was closing in 15 minutes, kept them all an hour or so after close, then sort of realized and asked what time they closed. He was distraught at having kept them all past…

“I’m not sexist, but...”
“I’m not racist, but...”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but...”
“Ohmygod Becky look at her, but...”

I prefer pencils writers, myself