...then a lesbian? WE NEED MORE TWISTS!

“...just know that you’re breaking your father’s heart.”

Those holes in the wall are just blow dryers for your wiener, right?

Oddly enough, only when it’s alcohol.

I always put out the “do not disturb” sign, I just feel more comfortable with my own mess, until I leave. I’ll leave a few bucks before checkout though.

throw in a wink and pat on the ass

Nah, I agree with you on that. I skip the zero part though.

Plus working the register gets you at least minimum wage.

Well, that’s not a service, that’s just good manners.

I agree, I always feel awkward with any exchange in the bathroom.

What do bathroom attendants have to do to entertain you enough to tip?

something something multi-grain

After it’s old and obsolete we’ll find out.

It won’t matter, we’ll just get newer and better ones in return :)

MY GOD PLEASE HURRY UP WITH THIS!!!!!

This will deserve more recs than it gets.

I wish I could take back all the other recs I’ve ever given anybody else on Gawker sites in all these years and give them to you for this post. Bravo!

As someone who grew up in West Virginia...”Why is this a story?”

I’m so old I remember when this story was on Defamer.

Your post is showing 12:35 PM so that’s another one.