In his first day as King, he will take all 5 steps to the top of the Empire State Building.

“Can I get the Musburger with a side salad?”

The last time Busch Stadium looked that white, a Cardinals game was being played.

Jets fan: “Thank god the Bills are in our division.”

“I’ve never been into Phish, partly because I had a really awful roommate in college who loved them.”

*Speaking in a feigned British accent*: Actually, the proper term is sacked. Bob Bradley was sacked by-*gets murdered, deserves it*

The Natural theme started playing in my head when I saw this pic.

This is excellent. My planned snark of “this is the best piece I’ve ever read that contains the question ‘How can you shit one minute and then be praying the next?’” is too low a compliment.

I was slated to work 8:30 to 12:30 overseeing the nuclear plant, so this is a relief.

I think Mars is doing things the right way with this whole “no oceans” thing.

You might recall shithead Jim VandeHai from his brilliant “we need a third party for Bloomberg and Zuckerberg” take.

Bringing new meaning to the French term Les Cousins Dangereux

I know roughly four things about Sage Northcutt, but the verb choice in your opening line seems apt.

Not openly hating them and wishing for their suffering. Instead, perhaps, the creation of a party and a status quo that doesn’t leave them looking for any alternative, any change, regardless of how unproductive that change may be.

I can only imagine that the oh-so thinly-veiled disdain liberals have for certain parts of middle America is in no way responsible for their unwillingness to vote for liberals.

Don’t worry, the CGI guys will put a more coordinated player over him in post-production.

Dikembe continued “From now on I will no longer be using e-mail, to prevent this from happening again. Who wants to text Mutombo?”

Pictured: the closest Henrik is able to come to hugging Antti-matter, lest both of them are annihilated.

“Cleveland faces the Bills next Sunday” was the first draft of Hemingway’s famous six-word story.

The Jets were playing, so I assume that video is just the entire game footage.