Ummm....you forgot fried chicken breast as a viable sandwich bread...

It must be really hard to say “I was goddam horrified by it. I know it’s a 10 second window in an 18 yr olds life but you don’t ever put your hands on a woman. Now these are kids; kids are immature and emotional and I’ve got 4 years to grow him up but that shit will not fly here.”

Bill Veeck had an ashtray built into his wooden leg. I don’t think he was afraid of anything.

Loria
I think they got your number.
I think they’re gonna win this,
while your team keeps going under.
But you really don’t remember?
Miami’s in the red.
Paninis with soggy bread.
Loria?

And you would LOVE IT, because you clearly have a fan-martyr complex.
You’d be able to further entrench yourself in the opinion that you’re better fans than everyone else. And the hatred you receive...and the way you rise above it just proves that.

If douchebag fans like you didn’t exist, Deadspin wouldn’t run those…

You have a supervisor for racism in your office?

I was once in the window seat of a row of three. There was a gentleman in the aisle seat. As the boarding process ended, it became clear that the middle seat was to remain blissfully empty and I felt immediate relief, until the gentleman picked himself up, scooted over, and started to lower his ass into the vacant…

Pro: The Cardinals are eliminated.

Any Cubs-Pirates animosity will likely be absorbed by the larger "Fuck the Cardinals" sentiment shared in the NL Central, possibly the world.

You know, maybe it is just the audio aspect of it. I kind of agree. But I prefer a male voice, with more bass, with xenophobic opinions, who occasionally costs taxpayers millions of dollars in public funding for a failed video game, and doesn’t totally believe in evolution.

“You’ll never make the playdowns that way”