“unlawful carrying weapon” and “possession of marijuana under 2 ounces,”

They should donate to Chinese gender equality organizations which will lead to a nationalization of furniture. The People’s Republic of Furniture.

“To this day I’ve never had a drink,” he said. “To this day I’ve never had a cigarette.”

Who wants to fuck a goldfish?

As a film producer, he probably has a list of Classic Sexual Assault Defense Tropes that he’s just going down. Where is Mariska Hargitay right now? We need Ice-T, stat.

We’ve got 44 linemen rebuilding power lines in your city & 40 more men just arrived. Do you want us to send them back or keep working?

Shocking 🙄

Bwahaha after the bill passes, BLM and ACLU and, why not, CAIR organizers should release statements of support, glowing endorsements lauding the bi-partisan cooperation that truly makes this country great. Let the GOP civil war commence.

I must be some kind of pervert

I dream about studying, becoming a nurse, and one day working with the elderly.

Yeahhhhh! American Values! Land of the free! Worship the flag and our upstanding morality! Salute the brownshirts! Turn in your neighbors! Yeahhh yell at some Muslims! Murder 58 people! Repeal consumer financial protections! Cheat on your wife! Christian Nation!

All we need is Hudson Hongo and Night Gawker will be complete

WELCOME TO NIGHT GAWKER ITS ME KELLI WARD

Jesus Christ you love to hear yourself don’t you. Ya America is shitty but false equivalencies are shittier. Open your eyes sheep person

lol so deep

The very nature of religion is a “pick and choose” kind of thing, cause if you don’t pick and choose you end up as some kind of terrorist. There are plenty non-terrorist Christians, but there are also a lot that are like 65% terrorist. Like subtly terrorist. Sorta terrorist.

“When the next generation asks, ‘What did you do to stop this?’ what will we say? I know what I’m saying: ‘I will not obstruct. Do whatever. Not my problem anymore.’”

ahahaha man you have “Furious Out-Of-Context Conspiracy Theorist” down pat. Army general? How many stars and bars are on your dick