I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

I like my women like I like my coffee....covered in BEES!

I feel like Kendall is going to end up married to one of those Saudi Billionaires. I don’t know why.

Please. My son turned one this weekend and he got like 7 cars and a few trucks from random people. I asked him about it this morning, he said he doesn’t remember a thing.

If you’re laughing much harder at humor directed at other races than at other humor, that could come off as douchey. Add in that this was merely one annoying aspect of him that night (being super drunk, spilling a drink on someone), it paints a picture of an asshole.

Do I believe they called him “Diaper Don?”

Umm, you mean Sister Patterson.

i love watching clips of ronnie and sammie fighting

Black Swan, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Ted, etc...

Cannot bring myself to be upset by this with how things are going.

Didn’t need Louis C.K. to tell us:

I LOVE THIS

My mom did criminal defense for 25 years in DC. She would regularly be called a bitch to her face by prosecutors.

His wording is problematic and his message perhaps a little convoluted but he hits on some really great points.

Didn’t your parents ever take you down to Kmart for family photos? They have to sit really still and watch the birdie or they don’t get to go to Dairy Queen afterwards.