@Candace Parker Secret Lover: No, Brock Berlin is the answer. They just didn't give Linehan the chance to let Green get the concussion we were all anticipating.

That post reads less like a sports blog, more like a Death Cab for Cutie song.

@Afino: Far cry from the usual suicide report in Wisconsin in late September involving hops and barley.

Good damn, not even marginally attractive lesbians could save this from being Downer Friday at Deadspin.

It's nice to see Ricky Schroder can still find work, even if he had to go back to being a kid actor.

I must be willing to ask the pubic what they think of my coverage.

If this day doesn't end with a Chancey Billups freak jetski accident on Lake Michigan, I'll be terribly disappointed.

@Bobby_Big_Wheel: So is that when Jamie Moyer revealed that he's a virgin?

Because Bob isn't fucking around when he's playing this song, so you shouldn't be fucking around when you're listening to it.

That's part 1 of what we call a "Roy Williams".

@TODD JONES: Who?

@sagehenbait: What in God's name did you have against Kyle Eckel?

"Plus, seriously, Cassel sucks."

Rally Monkey is pissed. Rally Monkey needs to feed his family.

@David Hume: You stay out of this, Consumerist.

She's already the second most notorious bar wench in Deadspin history.

But they reject my "F Roethlisberger" request? Bullshit.

I can only imagine the carnage if Tavarez had used his signature slow roller as the pickoff attempt.

He later added, "yeaaaaaa trick yeeeeeeea"

Turned down for the study: Stephon Marbury (insufficient sample size)