I would refer you to a show called “Hanna Montana” as to why that doesn’t happen.  

I just assume everyone who produces the media I personally consume is an ignorant POS in real life, that way I can be pleasantly surprised when it’s sometimes revealed they are not. It’s just easier that way.

Actual real-life James Bond villain refuses to fire his volcano lair’s deadly cash ray because his minions pissed him off. I remain skeptical.

I have no idea what you’re talking about Sir. Now if you excuse me, I have to go to my obelisk to prepare some salt pork.  

Agreed. Other than seeing the usual suspects making asses of themselves gnashing their teeth over a “B-B-Black Mermaid!!!” all of these live action re-makes have been uniformly lame and unnecessary.

Yes Human. Just as all humans are named Human, Human. ~Human

Every accusation is a confession with them.

You can if you’re a million years old and plead Demetia as a defense, which his lawyers will undoubtably do.

There isn’t a “Shut up and take my money” meme big enough for this.

His lawyers will claim dementia as a defense and it will probably work.  

Having been to Catalina earlier this year, lemmie tell ya, it’s not that much of a stretch.  

True Story: My mother-in-law and her boyfriend went to see Avengers: Endgame not having seen any other MCU film prior to Endgame. Nevertheless, they said that they enjoyed it, her boyfriend’s comment “Yeah it was sad when that robot-man died” almost killed me.

This. The fact that folks who really should know better seem to think that the GOP even believe in democracy anymore, much less plan to play by its rules is very depressing. You’re arguing the rules of chess while the other side is actively and out in the open, planning to burn the whole fucking building down with you…

Spoiler alert: The cause rhymes with Scaby Scoomers, and anybody currently under 50 who didn’t vote in the last 30 years and seceded the electorate to them.

Lets face it, Jesus is just a shitty co-pilot. Not his fault though, those holes in his hands pretty much decimated having any kind of manual dexterity. That whole Dr. Strange thing about getting your fingers back through magic? Total bullshit.

Justin’s not gonna f*ck you buddy. Go white knight some other damsel in distress.

Well, you’re gonna get your wish, just not on the timeline you want. Years from now Trump will die peacefully in his sleep, never having faced the repercussions of his actions. Just like George Bush, Dick Cheney and Henry Kissinger will.

“Hearing DeSantis talk...” I’ve read about DeSantis for a while now but I have to admit this was first time I’ve heard him actually speak, and all I can say is there’s no way America will elect a guy that sounds like that.  

Unfortunately, anyplace in Nevada north of Vegas is pretty much festooned with Red State mouth breathers.