Hah! Where as I am entirely self-taught (Mom was not into makeup until after I started having fun with it) and um... adventurously incautious? The looks I have tried. I've gotten to the point where people compliment/ask for tips, which is a huge marker for me. Now, though, I explain what I'm doing and they get all…

Preach. I feel like I give you 9 million stars on every milihelen post, but you deserve them!

Oooooh, hey twin. I call mine Mount Laundry. Because folding is ~Jean Ralphio Saperstein~ THE WOOooooOOORRRRST.

They're such sweet dorks. I love mine to bits.

Use conditioner instead of shampoo. Like. Suave. Whatever is cheapest, it doesn't matter. Or mineral oil. Also, I like to do a sugar scrub before I shave because I feel like I get a closer/smoother shave.

Hey, fellow berner person! Mine is 7 months, how old is your lugbutt?

Any amount of money says he thinks HE'S TYLER DURDEN.

The smell doesn't bother me, and it's the matte-est sunscreen ever - Neutrogena Sheer Dry Touch. The lower SPF formulas (30, 45) are easier to blend in fully than the higher ones.

God, right? When I was being particularly shitty, I would be grounded. All toys/decorations/things PRECIOUS TO MEEEE removed from my room and hidden. Nightmare. It's a miracle they DIDN'T make a hoarder out of me.

Totally! I responded with hysterics and then when that failed, impotent rage. I still hate that feeling, even as an adult, but I like to think I'm better at communicating. :)

mmmmhmmm. I would be utterly distraught whenever my parents traded in a car. Such a clingy dork. And yet so stubborn!

GOOD.

I wasn't even hoarding! Just... total meltdown over invasion of space. I had no idea what was under there, really, I just knew she WASN'T ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT and I thought claiming emotional attachment would get her to back off.

The weirdest part is that it WASN'T a collection or anything. It was just literally whatever random scraps of paper had floated under my bed or been kicked under as I "cleaned" my room to avoid having Mom take over. Having my mom clean out my room just SET ME OFF.

Awwwwwwwwwww. My family still does "It's PRECIOUS TO MEEEEEEE," because that's what I would sob at my mother when she'd throw away the garbage/scraps of rando paper from under my bed.

Pretty sure he's just actually a creep.

IS THAT WHAT IT IS? Oh man. I stopped in there once on a food emergency and was... confused. Okay. We learn something every day! But now I feel really naive.

Let me know when it's ready. And please tell me that I can implant it by drinking?

You speak the truth. I've been here most of my life and it's not a joke.

... I want a heart full of crushed ice and bourbon.