You do not use “Lagavulin” and “shitty” in the same post. Lagavulin is the nectar of the gods. Here, sit with me and Ron and we’ll help you out.

“They call them fingers but I never see them fing...”

Announcer sounds like how I feel until about noon on any typical Monday.

This is what life is like when you do 50 whippits before going to a Texas Tech football game where they almost pulled out the W with a crazy play at the end of the game.

a special glimpse into what harry caray’s college football commentating career would have sounded like

“Being used as a prop” <- Bingo. A five year old does not understand international politics or immigration issues. This is not adorable. This is a coached child being used as a puppet. And I feel your pain. I remember very little of my two years of Latin.

You’re still doing it! Wrenching is not a thing. A move trailer is not wrenching. It can be heart-wrenching, but you still are not using this word correctly. This is the second headline in a short while to do this and it’s really fucking sad and embarrassing that a “writer” for what some might call a legitimate blog…

I bet Flacco goes nuts when he sees this. Dude might even burn through a whole sleeve of saltines tonight.

Where is Tom Ley’s hot take?

holy shit dude, enough

People sure are discussing this book from Jonathan Franzen called Purity.

We get it. Gawker Media does not like Jonathan Franzen. Time to move on.

Having an unconventional, unusual, risky, or rare experience (porn, mountain climbing, making every Julia Childs dish etc) is insufficient preparation for writing good prose. I wish more people got that.

Da fuq did I just read?

i was thinking more like...wow what a fuckin bigoted psycho

♫When your knee’s in my back, and it’s just cuz I’m black /

If there is a just god in this universe, she was yelling “What are thooooooooooooooose?!”

♫ You just have to comply or the fists start to fly/

♫ When a cop knocks you down, like you’re some wanted clown/