Starred for cat

If you don’t have any family friendly triathlon jokes, I’m afraid I’m just going to have to ask you to leave.  

The triathlon part, mostly.  

Well see, that’s where I disagree.  

Sure, says triathlon right there!  

Those of us over 30 all saw Terminator 2.

I think there needs to be a footnote on every mention of the LA river, for those who’ve never been to LA.

i hope my kids never see the things i have starred here.

Take both your star and a good look at yourself in the mirror.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Remember when Mike Trout was worth a combined 20 WAR over two seasons, and Miguel Cabrera, worth 14 over the same span, won both MVPs because he hit more huge dingers? Mike Trout should have like 6 MVPs by now.

The only people who call Puig lazy are the people looking for a reason to hate him. The entire reason for this post is because he wasn’t being lazy and his hustle helped the team win. Take your dog whistle elsewhere.

Wow what's it like to be allergic to fun, man? Do you carry an EpiPen in case you start enjoying yourself?

Really though, good for you posting on Deadspin well into your eighties. 

Calm down, Francis

Eric Thames showing off a level of agility and grace normally seen from a beer league softball pitcher with double knee braces.

“and don’t forget to put an onion on your belt before you start!”

is she single?

I like how you explained “football” as if I wouldn’t know that it’s called something besides “soccer.”

Matt Nagy is watching this over and over right now.