Isn’t bruschetta more of a canapé anyway?

What about a hamburger sammich with a french-fried potatoes garnish?

“Gentleman’s relish” really, really sounds like a euphemism.

I’ve never felt older than when I referred to “I learned it by watching you!” in class and then realized that when that PSA aired they hadn’t even been born.

Probably even buckles his knickerbockers BELOW THE KNEE.

Plus we got Donna instead and she is awesome.

I hope I never again have to read the words “mustache-licking zeal.”

I promise I will never hurt you!

Why can’t we have nice things?

The Arby’s logo looks more like a penis than that thing does!

I really don’t want to know what falls out when you break open a pedophile pinata.

I think it’s been suggested a few times that he does indeed own it and that Kwik-E-Mart is a franchise whose stores are independently owned and operated?

“You Light Up My Life” did inspire one of my favorite bits of Simpsons dialogue, though:

I’d be devastated if anything bad ever came out about David Tennant.

But Jimmy Carter hasn’t done anything yet! Look at him! He’s gonna do something, and you know it’s gonna be good!

Louis XIV did also have meetings on the toilet...

Seriously. There is not enough cope in the world.

I feel like the fact that Trump is still alive is a major knock against this theory, though.

They show up in the candy bowl at the beginning. No lines, though.

I’m probably going to get a lot of use out of Lisa’s intro line: “What you’re about to see is so disgusting, you’ll watch Game of Thrones to calm down!”