I hit a point about halfway through this when I thought, “I have absolutely no idea what this is actually about anymore.”

Granted this may be more of a commentary on my own reading skills, but that took me three attempts to read and comprehend the point Billy was trying to make.

That first sentence-paragraph is... just... wow.

My version of this story is that my HS coach told my brother he couldn’t play catcher because he was 6'5". My brother shot back that Joe Mauer is 6'5" and he’s a great catcher. So the coach told him that if he was as good as Joe Mauer he’d be the starting catcher every game.

I had a coach when I was little who knew that Edberg was my favorite player. One time, I missed a forehand into an open court - and missed badly - and was moping about it. Coach asked if Edberg would ever act like I was. My reply was that if Edberg ever hit a forehand as terrible as the one I just hit, then yes he…

Probably this is why I am in the grays, but I really like living in Arlington! All the convenience of living in the city but with actual parking. But the rest of NoVA, particularly Loudoun County/outer Fairfax, not so much, proceed with napalm. 

Given the user name, that seems on brand.

Having all my family pass away sure has made life easier!

the saints deserve all the bad things for making pass interference a reviewable call.

Oh, thanks for the correction. Too late to edit my post, of course. 

Definitely a weird take, second paragraph in particular. For what it’s worth, the play wasn’t even reviewed. The officials left the field immediately after the play and everyone was like “Oh, ok. The game’s over, apparently.”

This is a strange take. Team A got screwed by an obvious bad call that wasn’t changed even though it was reviewed. But they played a horrid first half and, moreover, their coach complained about the bad call, so... they got what they deserve?

“But I’ll make this statement: It’s as much about maybe who we don’t want as much as who we want.”

I think it's more about consistency - don't say everything is cool, we have your back, then two weeks later act like it was beyond the pale. Even at the last minute Gruden was acting like being secretly recorded was cool and funny, right before they fined him. 

knock on wood if you’re with me

I have been addressing several white friends with “Howdy, Honky,” for at least five years now. It’s such an underrated and underused word, man.

Has an NFL player ever just flat out turned on his team mid-game? Imagine, if you will, Carr completing a short screen to AB who then promptly hands it to the DB before spiking his helmet and walking off the field. This is the thing I never knew I needed.

Look who’s bragging about his stamina!

Weird, after 10,000+ hours of masturbating I'm still getting the same result.

Thank god this isn’t true. I want to get great at sex, but having it 600,000 times seemed daunting.