“247 accidents reported”

If Bill—as a passenger, on a smooth freeway—had a hard time pinpointing the thumb with his finger, imagine a driver trying to do the same on your average pothole-riddled midwestern road.

I...I like buttermints.

Oh sweet summer child.

Incredibly, none of the injuries sustained in the wreck appear to be severe.

Illinois also requires it.

I’m terrified of sneezing while driving, particularly on the highway. I’m convinced that as I sneeze, my arms will inadvertently jerk the steering wheel to one side and I’ll crash into the concrete barrier and/or another vehicle at top speed and incinerate myself, my poor VW Rabbit, and everyone around me in a massive…