SITZPINKLER DON’T PLAY THAT

The earnest answer to your question is nothing. The people making these decisions will do or say whatever they must to maintain their power. 

Thank you so much for this. This is hilarious. Sincerely, that was non-stop laughter inducement. Well done!!!

It’s just business, man.

What?

I propose that last Thursday’s date (7/25) should henceforth be known as Nathan Faustyn Day.

I would be so stoked if there was a word that encapsulated the joy I felt viewing this man’s failure and humiliation.

Well I’m off to Lake Worth, Florida, where I’m gonna go steal this dude’s furniture and, on my way out of his front door, tell him to make me some snacks for the ride home.

I hope they let him race in the Tokyo Olympics and somebody smacks that shitty grin off his face and he accepts a gold medal with a fat lip and wet eyes.

I’d correctly argue that Katie Ledecky is the most dominant freestyle swimmer in the world.

Being annoying to people who take golf seriously is sublime fun, and such a noble goal that I even excuse stupid behavior (like playing golf) in pursuit of this goal. Good on ya, J.B. Holmes (that’s the athlete? jut making sure, I have a structured settlement and I need cash now)!

Surely you aren’t referring to ESPN as a “Sports News” channel.

Sorry you’re sick. Maybe the people who joke were abused themselves. Surviving abuse fucks people up, give them a break if they deal with it in a way that makes you upset.

You’re an unbelievable idiot.

I will argue that whether or not someone is personable is 100% immaterial if the subject matter is a war criminal.

Great fight!

Holy smokes! I thought you were kidding but you mean this in earnest. Your vote is going to be at least partially determined by who is and isn’t going to wear an item of clothing. That’s very dumb. I think you should reconsider.

It would really be terrific if the new 007 objectified the shit out of Bond. Perhaps a few groan-inducing dick puns.

It is my sincere hope that Deputy Gaston was in lock-step with whatever policy the Lucas County Sheriffs Dept may have regarding errands while on duty. Not breaking any news when I say that for shitty white people, loopholes are like Picasso’s paint or Michelangelo’s marble: it is their true medium.

Because... “her betters putting her in her place” isn’t really a thing — there’s nothing in those words that translates to any tangible, practical consequence in her world. Teflon scumbags could give a shit about “clapback”.