This play seemed like what you call if you’ve privately given up but are going through the motions of trying

Added Rose: “Kids, you can literally fly! Kids I want you to go up to your roofs right now. Fly into the night sky!”

Someday I hope to love a team as much as Billy hates Manchester United

Now picturing 1920s-nutrition Ottavino tossing meatballs

I’m going to go a step further and guess he’s literally never held a coin in his hand before that moment. Just like he’d never sung the national anthem before the election. So many exciting firsts for the big boy.

Seems a perfect example of a player profile written by someone who neither plays fantasy nor bets on games

If Luis Suarez not celebrating so much is the cost of VAR this seems like a pretty clear win-win

It’s like when you see a dude average 2 pts per game in the NBA and have to remember that he could go to the playground nearby and mercilessly skunk everyone

This has to be one of the best story lines in the NFL right now. Not even joking.

I am now picturing Samer pitching this story in the Deadspin Slack, getting zero positive responses, and publishing it anyway

I doubt that’s good for more than some undefinable measure of solace for Spurs fans.

I live a stone’s throw from a Boston-themed bar where that is not true, at least on Sundays but yes -- it’s fun for the rest of us to take this too far

Maybe my Boston friends and cousins aren’t enough of a sample, but they’d sacrifice a kidney for Brady before anyone on the Sox

I’m honestly really happy Sox fans got a World Series. But I-95 is now de-iced by the heat of the takes now that every Boston team has been good recently.

My quilts just end up bloody socks

That helps a lot, thank you

How do you separate the fanbase from the team? Do you live somewhere with zero New England transplants and zero need to go in the vicinity of New England? For the rest of us, this means years more of fodder for Sully to remain the loudest, smuggest s.o.b. at the bar. He’s excited about this team but would still rather…

Wait, does this mean Carr is more or less likely to make the Supreme Court?

Jason died for this

Thank you, this is the good stuff. Can you add one of your favorite racist jokes, too?