Beef is the only one you can’t get (at least in the US). If you are in the US and have a halal butcher on your normal route, can you check if you can get lungs? I’ve been told USDA bans the sale of all lungs.

“Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation...” —Ronald Raisin

I’m sorry! To be fair though, they’re just words.

Ken Bone, the undisputed winner of last night’s debate

Typical left-wing pinko liberal media bias tactics #101: quote people accurately.

Yoko, of all days... no, not today.

Better than rooting around in some weeds for a little dude’s ass, I suppose.

I have solid evidence that chicks love the pussy

But did you let Gil drive you home?

My first week of college, at orientation, we were taught that being too drunk to say no does not, in any way, mean yes. Whoever Rose had fill in for him must have forgotten to relay that to him later.

I mean, it’s VERY important that pissing contest is up and running, because I have been looking forward to this year’s spooky stories since last November, and I will honestly burn something down if they don’t do it again this year. It’s tradition now.

My little sister, around the age of 3, suddenly became the world’s pickiest eater. She began refusing milk, all vegetables and all fruit. If it wasn’t pizza or nuggets, she wouldn’t have it. My mother caved, thinking she’d “just grow out of it” and didn’t want to be mean and force her to eat.

I made nothing but “Hamilton” references during a board meeting. For two hours, I was only allowed to speak lines from Hamilton.

i miss the old jezebel

You know what happens when you use the term “cuck” as an insult? You look like a pathetic coward, because only someone who’s immersed themselves in the internet alt-right echo chamber and is afraid to go out and interact with real people think that term is the devastating barb you silly chucklefucks believe it to be.

It’s a black people haircut. I forgive you for not knowing.