As I’ve said before, all these parents naming their kids “Aiden,” “Jayden,” “Kaden,” etc. need to have the balls to just name them after the obvious inspiration:

You do realize that this was 40 years ago, right? The way our police and society at large treats victims of rape TODAY is shitty and unacceptable — especially when it comes at the hands of football players and coaches (see: Winston, Jameis), yet I wouldn’t doubt for a second that we have improved leaps and bounds in…

Get the chalk out.

I assume this was a Second Mile kid, which likely means this kid had no family support system. Also going to the police is not exactly a welcoming thought to a victim of abuse, he likely didn’t think anyone would believe him except for a head coach who already knew.

I was all set to be outraged but you’ve completely changed my mind with your brilliant and articulate dissection of the facts at hand and declaration they “don’t make sense” to you.

Seriously, fuck you and the Joe Pa dick you rode in on.

Just because you say those things are unbelievable doesn’t mean they are.

Watch your back Patrick, this guy packs a hell of a right cook.

Chris Cook will be campaigning with Trump shortly.

“Nobody expects the Spanish disposition!"

Of course! Let’s be smart about this.

Two dongs don't make a right...

“I can provide the dong pictures!" -Jared

He’s getting off on all 69 charges? Nice.

I’m not good at editing photos...

e) eventually be hit by a car.

But Tony X assures me it’s not actually cold down there.

Perhaps that’s a load-bearing rag?

Patriot...

Some additions, directed at the more youthful or neophyte among us (and I was one of you, once!):