You should go fuck yourself.

What a stupid fucking response.

I get wanting to have a quiet dinner, but throwing someone’s phone off the roof is a dick move. Totally not Larry Darrell.

Fuck Bill Murray.

Holy crap!

Take a deep breath and don’t over think it.

No.

No.

No, though Cameron claims it wouldn’t have fully supported them both. However, being halfway out of the water is way better thsn being all the way in the water. Women also tend to be more resistant to hypothermia due to their higher body fat percentages.

Trilbies are hats.

He’s a lying liar.

Your brother lies about his activities in-country. He is, in simple terms, a liar.

Your brother is a liar.

Your brother’s a liar.

Oh, my!

Trust me, life’s too short for bad donuts. (That being said, 15 seconds in the microwave can give a bad donut a second chance.)

That’s a picture of the Halos I bought this morning. They’re tasty and full of white lady privilege.

“...shove a Reeses Peanut Butter cup in there.”

I will admit that they’re pretty good when they’re fresh and hot, but they’re not all that.