This is peak Pennsylvania here folks.

The day I'll root for the Red Sox will be the day Deadspin hires Bill Simmons.

God, I remember in college when I read Bill Simmons obsessively. He was never an incredible writer, but it is AMAZING how absolutely insufferable he became as he got full of his own shit. I can still go back and enjoy shit like the Levels of Losing and the Rules for Sports fans. As half-baked and as sophomoric as a…

In regards to the MLB player who can foul any pitch off, what is the best way to use said player? DH and guarantee a baserunner every time through the order? Pinch-hitter that you save until you have bases loaded and guarantee a run and possibly run up the pitch count?

What happens if the Cubs turn into a relatively hot team and win three pennants over the next five years? The Cubs’ ENTIRE IDENTITY is that drought. They’re lovable, quixotic triers. Winning three championships in quick succession would destroy their loser-cred. How would that team and fan base manage the change?

So you agree with every word of the article your commenting on then? Thanks for weighing in I guess?

“The wrong way.” - Goose Gossage

I love this reply. As a veteran of the Facepalming Ill-Thought Out Post, I commend you on your acceptance of responsiblity.

Citing a collegiate newspaper article published on April Fool’s Day. A+ job here champ.

Will this finally stop people from asking for that fucking statue back? Let’s just melt it down, closest replication to where he is if there’s any thing as justice.

Do Not Masturbate While Seated

God bless you too.

Good luck man , I don’t know how to not sound trite but good luck :)

Godspeed, man.

Well said! Congrats on your diagnosis and for sharing your valuable perspective. As a recovering addict/alcoholic with 4 years of sobriety (which is a totally different thing, I know) I have heard a lot of similar “rah rah” stuff. I agree that this kind of talk simplifies what is often a very complex condition. Good…

Yes, the Rams delayed pick was especially annoying given they had to have made the decision weeks ago. It’s not like they gave up all those prime picks and then started the scouting process.

You know what didn’t make the draft exciting? All the faux fucking drama. This has a been a slow march towards making the draft excruciating. It used to be, you had no idea what was going to happen, what the deal with trades were, how things were going down. And, when we did know things, they were just known. Teams…

Why is this entire comment a parenthetical aside?

This is precious.