Yup, I tend to hate the patriots & bruins, and somewhat respect the celtics, and could really care less about the clippers, but he is entertaining in his articles.

I read this in the Cousin Sal making-fun-of-Simmons voice.

Exactly....this dumb mother and his minons want to call cheating by his teams “nuthin” when he masterbated to Barry Bonds 10 years after he retired and is still jerking off to A-Rod articles in the bathroom at work.

I know the prevailing opinion is that simmons was/is a douche, and being such a homer was at times annoying, I have to say I love his columns. Strictly because they are entertaining, and he is only a little older than me, so most of his references are right up my ally. He’s a fanboy who writes in the style of fanboys,…

Not Lane Johnson

You make it sound like there's going to be people in the building to watch this dumpster fire...

Good job of grossly painting an entire fanbase with a broad brush Tom. Could you be any more lazy?

Like I wasn't getting hammered on Admiral Nelson and Diet Coke in Jetro lot until the 4th inning anyway...

They do this already. It's called the "Jetro Parking Lot".

In related news, Ruben Amaro today signed A Bottle Of Jack Daniels to a 7-year, $175M contract. "I think we've got our shortstop of the future," he said, shortly before dropping the bottle on a concrete floor at the Phillies' spring training facility.

Yeah, I'll take a Heathcliff Sloegin, a Tom Rollins, and and a Mickey Morantini.

A hundred whiskey and Cokes couldn't ease the pain of watching that team.

Yah, I feel like Always Sunny covered this. Probably not a good idea.

It's either offensive or respectful that you didn't mention the longest running sit-com in TV history.

EVERY fucking fuck is on display.

Exactly. This is not "not giving a fuck." This is giving the most fucks.

Dressing like this is more or less the opposite of not giving a fuck.

Yeah, the intractable incontinence would be totally worth it.