I always liked this line from Cheat Commandos:
"I might as well go home and get teen pregnant"

I get what you're saying. Really. But I also enjoy the words "PONCEY WEASEL SHIT"

It looks like the TGI Fridays hostess was into it.

I believe the delivery is part of the joke. Watch it with the sound off, like you said, and wonder "What would a person this out of it sound like?" Then watch it again with the sound on, and say "Of course!"

You've fallen for the common misconception that "average life expectancy of 35" means few people lived longer than that, when the reality is that number is so low due to higher infant and child mortality rates (and occasional double suicides.) Hmmph.

“I want to make it very clear that this Captain Marvel’s name is Carol Danvers, you know, like Carroll O'Connor and Caroll Spinney."

Auntie Alice! The hateful thing!

I think it's a valid statement. By the time Juliet was 16, she'd already met her Romeo, and she'd been dead for three years.

Look Smithers, Grabo is coming!

"What have you been up to, Carolyn Minnot?"
"I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer."
"Oh. Oh god. "

That's why I love this damn song. Starts with damn fine sax solo, ends with damn fine guitar solo.

Doc from Fraggle Rock died. The Baker Street saxophone guy died. What a shitty day.

They're just like us! They use baskets!
http://dudelol.com/img/cele…

That's easily the best description of Brickleberry ever.

Clearly they've branched out from unarmed black males. Everyone knows white D-list celebrities come after that, then middle-class Asians, then Quakers, cyborgs, single female lawyers, Mexican ghosts, and finally non-millionaires.

So he was a 26 year old high school sophomore. Looking up the cast, that puts him slightly older than some, but somehow younger than others. James Marsters was born 8 years after Anthony Stewart Head.

You're right about Deadwood, but here's some wind-ups toys of The Wire cast and cars from the Sopranos

Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose?

I watched The Purge with my wife and daughter, and learned that I live with terrible people. In the movie, the daughter's boyfriend sneaks into the house and tries to kill the dad, which was a really stupid plan, and the dad shoots him dead. Later he's crying and telling his daughter "I'm sorry about Henry." Don't be…

"Look at the Flowers, Internet"