Every yuppie within 50 yards would show up at an abandoned Dollar Tree to throw money at a frozen Tombstone pizza as long as it’s over priced an has a long line.

I don’t know anyone who had a bad campus dining hall experience, at least not from the food. In fact, most of the people I know - myself included - miss it. My small state school in Virginia used Aramark, so I’m not sure where the food came from, but all the cooks were local and either used their own, or own take, on…

“Remember the time Matt and Trey, two straight assholes, declared that the f-slur meant dudes who owned Harleys despite the fact that they are two straight dudes who don’t get a say in another community re-appropriates slurs used against them?”

Oh, I hadn’t even thought of that! But I thought Netflix changed that, and streaming films were eligible. Maybe those movies were briefly run in small theaters so they could be.

I had high hopes for American Horror Stories, especially when I saw the Murder House immediately show up in the first episode. Unfortunately, they brought the iconic architecture and cat suit from Season 1 without any of the characters or actors that made it so memorable.

Good. 14 more chances to give these guys a goddamn Oscar so they can finally EGOT.

I can’t think of many more forgettable cars than this one. Trying to justify this as anything interesting sounds like someone explaining to me why modern art is brilliant. I think this represents the turning point where antique cars stopped being desirable for their design qualities and began lingering solely for…

“The Clogger: if you can find a greasier sandwich, you’re in Mexico!” I’m still curious what animal the Ribwich was made of, “think smaller, more legs.” Mmm, I don’t mind the taste! Also, “I’m so hungry I could eat at Arby’s!”

2009. Thanks for the reminder. Queuing it up now. A decade later and I’m still laughing at “bike curious.”

That word was hurled at everyone in middle school, and none of us - even the confused closeted kids - had any idea it was anything more than something on the curse-scale between “shit head” and “fucker.” As a gay man just a little younger than Matt Damon, I don’t know one LGBT+ Gen Xer or Millennial unwilling to…

Hagfish, a.k.a. slime eel or snot snake. Their bodies barf up a thick mucus when they’re startled, and four years ago a truck carrying 7,500lbs of them rear ended a car in Oregon. The road and car looked like, well, many inappropriate metaphors. I might have read about that here. If not, look it up.

EV marketing seems to be an evolution of Hybrid marketing and the assumption that only a very specific sort of person would want one. They speak in a language that only the few people heavily informed about EV technology understand. For some reason, car makers can’t seem to kick that habit.

How drunk was he when he wrote that? If Philip B. Linker is still alive, I promise you he’s on Twitter complaining about “vaccine shedding.” As much as this is an artifact of the ‘80s, the logic feels incredibly contemporary.

“I’m not great, I’m not excellent...”

Wouldn’t this depend on the theater? Is there some empirical definition of theater popcorn sizes I’m unaware of? Also, if it’s true, it’s kind of pointless. Popcorn costs about as much as water. I mean, if skimping on a medium bucket of popcorn saves any money it’s in the amount of paper it takes to make the bucket.

This isn’t nearly as bad as Friday. With another singer, this could pass for the same mediocre saccharine crap that passes for music today. The most annoying thing about viral YouTubers like Black and Brand is that they clearly have no interest in music or even training their voices. They only have one interest: being…

“More sopapillas, please!”

“Black has reinvented herself as one of pop’s most exciting artists.”

A dealership, lawyers, and insurance agents. You couldn’t ask for a more perfect storm of sleazy dirtbags. I feel so bad for this lady.

That’s the first thing I think about whenever I read these sort of stories. Not that there’s any excuse for screaming matches in any workplace, but I’ve seen temps at Comcast get chewed out all for asking totally understandable questions...about cable. Corporate HR writes its own jokes, especially in companies so…