Lonely Island is never wrong.

You kids ruined a perfectly good word: jism.

Username checks out

How on Earth does one get lost for 17 days on an island of only 727 sq. mi.? I mean, that takes WORK. Just picking a “Oh shit, I’m lost” point at random, there’s a 90% probability that you will be within 20 miles (or less) of one Maui’s numerous roads, or from the shore. Even if someone dumped you by helicopter on the…

Hawaii to do list:

Eminem: “Lose Yourself”

“That’s a pitch that a lot of good hitters can’t get around on without yanking the ball way into foul territory.”

No matter how embarrassing it is, it can’t possibly be worse than the time he posed in a room that looks like it spent years imprisoning victims of sex trafficking. Set aside the (highly comical!) mirror-kissing and look at the rest of that place. That shit’s a psychic wound, man.

What are the odds that Chumpf mistakes J.D. Martinez for one of the White House staff and demands a Diet Coke?

Where’s Grace Jones to give us the blow by blow of this?

It’s really adorable that you think the kids will learn anything from this. 

One night, this exchange happened and I laughed out loud at 1am:

i don’t care what anyone says.

“I would assume a huge supporter of women’s athletics and against the typical smug level of sexism and stupidity that someone like Trump represents.”

I love that he has to keep serving fast food because everyone made fun of him for it once, and he is constitutionally incapable of allowing even the implication he might have been wrong by serving better food now.

Dde, cut him some slack, he was in high school at the time. You expect a high school senior to have already mastered sentence structure and punctuation?

They need to make up some injury just so he can go on a “rehab” assignment and tey to figure out his control.

It’s been a good run, America.

This article is like the formation of a team of heroes, ready to smell up the political narrative with tales of self-centered self-destruction.

So “I’m not lying now, but I was lying to the Feds…”. Way to dodge that jail time, Mikey!