Clearly you don’t live in Portland. I’m constantly getting stuck in line behind the person who is having a 45 minute conversation with the barista about yoga/Kierkegaard/instagram filters.

Oh man I don’t blame them for trying to make something neutral and non-offensive as possible. Their social media manager(s) are probably still trembling from last year. “Let’s just take it nice and easy this year, folks. I don’t want to find someone (George- I’m looking at you) crying in the bathroom again. (GEORGE)”

That cup reminds me of something out of Dante’s Inferno. I don’t like it.

Christ, that business. How long did that last? It was clearly initiated by someone who had no memory, if no actual experience, working in the food service trenches.

At least we don’t have to initiate a conversation with the barista about race

I hate myself for not making that joke.

But if everything you do is to appear nice and you don’t drop the facade, does it actually matter how you feel about acting nice on the inside?  

my boyfriend would tell you wonton soup.

Tomato soup with a side of grilled cheese sandwich

In French and English!

In sophisticated Toronto, we have little signs in our subway trains with a helpful illustration.

You mean it would need some... tailoring?

Aww, I love Amelia Bedelia.

She was never on the plane to begin with. She let the plane take off with a dummy pilot, assumed a fake identity, and lived out the rest of her life peacefully as a pottery painter in Des Moines.

Ryan Reynolds is something like 6'2". Probably have to take that in a bit.

It’s a shame CNN wasn’t a thing in the 30's. I hear they’re really good at finding missing planes.

They also found a piece of a plane windshield that matched the design of her aircraft and a shoe in her size and a brand she was known to wear.

Hey, dont disrespect blonde haired blue eyed people because of a few deplorables! While we are mostly vain, we are not all vapid. Big difference.

I doubt Hillary’s server used a web interface. It was probably a Microsoft Exchange setup, which syncs all emails to the client.