I’m not one to call some lady I’ve never met—or even heard of until now—a liar, but, umm...this:

FWIW my favourite thing about the singing of the national anthem is that its the perfect time to make a bathroom run before the game.

one man who spent $45 on bottled water at the game.

“We’re sorry we were caught charging $4.50 for tap water. In the future, we will conceal it in Dasani bottles like Coca-cola already does.”

Cool story, people from Austin are soo badass!

They were not booing.

Me: Wow, everything fucking sucks now. At least I have sports to watch and maybe not think about it for a couple of hours.

That’s exactly what I expected in foxburough, I really wish I didn’t share the same fan base as these jagoffs.

They booed at the bar I was in Sunday. At the TV. But no one took off their hat or stood or put down their beer. Which proves the patriotism can’t go through a TV screen. I guess.

Not true. Sometimes I’m shitting.

That Clowney feller really seems to be “It”...

It wasn’t a pick six though...it was a fumble

So Leshon McCoy was the notable player to kneel for the Bills. Malcolm Jenkins was a notable player to kneel for Philly. Interesting to note there were no notable Jets, but that has nothing to do with the protests.

Personally, I showed my allegiance by scratching my ass and shot-gunning a PBR pounder. Solidarity!

You tell them, DeMaurice Smith. Never back down! Except when it comes to demanding guaranteed contacts for the members of your union.

It’s funny cuz the president is a retard.

Only a handful of celebrities have done over a dozen Make-a-Wish visits, John Cena is at well over 500.

Well now i HAVE to get him on my show.

So Ferrari skipped auto-driving cars and jumped straight to self-driving cars? That’s amazing.