Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

Why?

A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

He’s hanging in there...

It fits the bill.

That joke’sth desthpicable.

Migrated here for this.

That quacks me up.

Reminds me of the last fight I got in. This guy at a bar was looking at me. So I said, “What the fuck you looking at asshole?” He looks at me and says, “Nothing.” I stood up. “Damn right, you better not be.” This guy had no business fucking with a guy like me, so I said, “ You have no business fucking with a guy like…

Mallards never duck a fight.

Mark,

Sitting on that has got to hurt your BACK BACK BACK.

Eli: “Odell, why wasn’t I invited to party with you guys?”

Eli, sadly, was not invited

Man, Waldo is getting really fucking lazy these days.

There was confusion when the Miami fan kept screaming “U is first.”

So are internet comments questioning the physical status of professional athletes.

Cooper: (leashed to a tree in the front yard, gazes longingly through the window at the food, light, warmth and merriment inside)

Man, I wonder how good he might be on, say, the Celtics.

With Bills money he should have bought her Nintendo not just a Nintendo.