He's miles ahead of the pack, man.

Not for nothing, but in his career Bryce has a 1.591 OPS when in a 3-1 count. 

That’s pretty good evidence of CTE right there.

My god, he would live forever. 

*hurt’s

Darn. I starred the first post, and this reply is twice as good as the original joke. I wish there was a double star for compound snarky wit.

Sort of like Tim Duncan.

I think it’s less “look how magnanimous I am” and more an acknowledgment that even the darkest posts on Deadspin often get flippant comments.

You know you’re beefing with the man who has the most-starred comment in Kinja history, right?

“Why not an axe?”

His face makes my stomach turn, and I almost have to respect it.

I think it’s “I thought we had it.”

If I fall asleep at work I’m blaming it on the NBA Twitter memes

I’m willing to bet even money Smith’s post game interview included him calling the game a hard fought win.

I am not sure about Bryan Colangelo’s last two phone digits. However, I can confirm that Jenny Colangelo’s digits are *****09. Unless she changed it, which I begged her not to.

“Cratches into the phhadding fortunately ferhim”

By the way, I have absolutely nothing against the Rockets as an organization; as my own team has been a miserable clown fiesta of a failure my entire life, I had to look elsewhere for basketball players to admire, and Hakeem was my favorite player growing up. My only issue is that I don’t enjoy watching them now.

Even the video you embedded shows a great defensive possession... featuring James Harden blocking Kevin Durant!

See right wingers, some immigrant Latin Americans even prevent theft.

“For the last time, Mark, the meeting is not at PF Changs!”
“Yeah, I’m at PF Chang’s now. Where are you guys?”
“Fuck it, you abstain.”
“Not from this amazing Chang Sauce, I don’t!”
*Holds up hand for high five*
*Waitress pretends she doesn’t see him*