::Michael Jai White chokes back a sob, closes laptop::

More liek Throwing Starz, amirite lol?

> half-assed articles

My agent will be contacting Nicole Beharie for the role of Helen!

Or The Jeffersons!

He develops a lump on his neck that grows into an evil manitou and kills him, and technically the manitou is now president.

Or just a bunch of regular gila monsters?

Yeah, you need to decouple the Heisenberg compensators.

Ha, yeah, like Trump bothers to go to the toilet. Everybody knows he just shits his pants and keeps on walkin'

This you know: the years travel fast, and time after time I done the tell. But this ain't onebody's tell. It's the tell of us all, and you've gotta listen and to 'member, 'cause what you hears today you gotta tell the newborn tomorrow.

Uh, I may have jumped the gun just now when I murdered Buzz and siphoned the gas out of his vehicle…

The Before Times!

Okay, I didn't really avoid going to Jezebel. Went right to it.

Sounds like this has been a game-changing day for all of us!

Yeah, like pineberries. What the fuck is up with that? Those things look horrible!

I'm pretty sure a mandaryne is one of those hybrid fruits that is both stupid expensive and doesn't actually look edible.

You truly are the king of kings.

Use them for gourmet hamburgers for the super-rich!

♪She cries and then she just stabs her friend♪
♪Can't find the slenderman♪

Don't forget Tina The HOA President Who's Knocking At Your Door To Complain Again About The Cedar Mulch In Your Flowerbed.