Yeah, geez, I was just at the Oddball Comedyfest and god damn EVERY comic was talking about social justice and rape culture and misogyny. Aziz Anzari did 30 mins on it; not seeing him getting death threats.

Do my job for a few hours and you will literally despair for humanity. (I work in policing)

*please towel, fall apart. please just do this for me, come on be a buddy, come on towel FAIL*

All the Howling Commandos really. And Peggy. And the dead. Steve's the most tragic kind of time traveler: one way, forward only.

I'll be in my bunk

And the horror and pain on his face and he just goes with it because he knows he can't explain the reality to her, hoping he gets *his* Peggy back, knowing one day she'll just slip all the way over into the dementia.

Evans is one of the few guys I've ever seen I can tolerate facial hair on, which is I think the definition of charisma: something that would normally make me go "ew" just makes him more attractive.

So young and sweet, too. Like a fresh peach.

IT COUNTS (DO NOT DEPRIVE ME OF EVANS WITH NO SHIRT IN ANY FORM)

I drink tea not coffee and tea tastes like weasel urine in metal containers. Can anyone recommend one of these with maybe a ceramic liner or something?

I drink tea not coffee and tea tastes like weasel urine in metal containers. Can anyone recommend one of these with…

I took a phone call from a parent years ago shrieking about finding a razor blade in an apple at Halloween. I asked two questions: How old is your child? (12) and Could you put her on the phone?

Oh please don't use Natural News as a source. They are insane anti-vax hippy nutcases who are crazy. They are literally the worst anti-science site on the internet.

I would eat there, I'm up late

I don't actually trust what anyone ever says about their own experiences. But I do a job that involves at least 90% of all conversations being lies of some sort. I may be a little tired, mentally.

Seconded

"Chris Brown flipped his lid on Instagram, calling Braxton and Bailon a "Muppet face ass" and "trout mouth ass bitch""

I work in law enforcement. I deliberately take overtime shifts on Xmas to

These people are the greatest geniuses of history.

Consensual fighting is legal in Canada. So, you can get into a fist-fight with someone and as long as it was consensual (sucker punching someone is assault) — i.e. you both agree to go "outside and settle this" — it's not a crime.

Heaven forfend women athletes should be asked to hold up the same standards as men. THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO AND THEN THE UNIVERSE WOULD COLLAPSE AND PERISH.