Watching the team try to form some sort of coherent offensive strategy last night was like watching a monkey try to fuck a football. At a basic level you understand what it’s trying to do, but in the end it’s just confusion and embarrassment for everything involved. 

And just to rub it in, Team Canada celebrated both of their goals in a manner consistent with the stated values of not rubbing it in against an overmatched opponent.  

Okay, so one of two things happened here. Either Durant was feeling particularly feisty and wanted to tweet at a hater in the third person, or, as @harrisonmc15 theorizes, he was attempting to use a spoof account to defend his honor and forgot to log out of his main account before tweeting

Isn’t “getting a championship” the only legitimate reason you need?

Get fucked.

Nah, Chris. I love Deadspin snark as much as anyone, but this guy was out of US MLB, did his stint in Japan because he believed, and came back to the States to be an important cog in two championship years. And...... if you were watching the Vogie tribute, you weren’t watching the NFL  

You misspelled “20 years”.

I think that if the USSF really wanted the best, they’d put a significant amount of that juicy development academy money into scouting and scout the barrio parks, the border towns, the new immigrant enclaves, etc. It is those places where soccer culture - not “sports culture” - thrives and where young boys always…

Americans keep asking why we can’t produce a world beater. We produce an 18 year old from Hershey, Pennsylvania (holy shit that’s American) who’s scoring and assisting at will in the UCL and Bundesliga. Former German legends like Lothar Matthaeus are heaping praise on him. Respected Bundesliga commentators call him…

Just keep him the fuck away from MLS and we should be ok here.

he already is

“These people have awful names.”

Everyone replying to shit on you because of your first sentence sucks. I took it to mean “I can’t totally relate to the “first black woman to win a gold medal in swimming” thing, but as a fellow swimmer, I appreciate it on an athletic level.”

Funny thing is, she had been told by either her coaches or the Canadian swimming organization that these Olympics were just prep for 2020, that she shouldn’t expect anything, just think of it as experience, etc. And now we’re not even a week into the Games and our closing ceremony flagbearer HAS to have already been…

And to give it context, a few days ago in her first major interview, the interviewer spent a considerable amount of time talking about the NHL player brother(this was after Penny had won a medal). Flip to less than 3 days later, Jamie is now known for being the brother of Penny Oleksiak.

Actually there was another gold medal winner in the event. She’s sixteen years old and is surprising the hell out of the swimming experts. Penny has already won a silver and two bronze this week and she is natural and ‘real good Canadian kid’. The way she swam over to her co-winner and embraced her was tearful to me.

Basketball teams should win by beating the shit out of the other guy, and fuck skills and jump shooting. And advanced defensive tactics.

Americans or American politicians on both sides of the aisle? Because there’s a huge fucking difference. Most Americans probably wish we had bombed the shit out of Saudi Arabia as well.

Fuck you

good lord. has any sports league ever been less about the actual game itself? i dont even need football at this point in my life, i can just skip the 19 or so weeks of games and still have and 30+ weeks of stupid decision making and millionaire egomaniacs to keep me more than entertained.