Holy shit that last one. Nope nope nope nope.

I live for the day that someone says “I’m very sorry, it turns out that my views are really reprehensible and I realize that now. I’m going try very hard to change and as a start, I’m donating a large amount of money to whatever charity deals with the issue that I admit I obviously have zero understanding of.”

So I said, ‘let me change everything because I don’t want any part that’s been touched by anyone.’”

Me too. I feel sorry for them, that whatever paths they took (or were forced down) in life led them to such humiliating shit as being a table for a tiny-pricked douchebag.

With all due disrespect to Secretary Zinke, who or what his employees are loyal to are none of his fucking business.

Enh, not enough Botox and fillers. Yet.

You’re assuming he has any sense of conscience about this shit which, I can assure you, he does not.

If you’d like to remain more quiet then, you know, shut the fuck up.

Jesus fucking Christ. It never ends with these people. I’m just going to assume everyone in the Republican Party is Russian-affiliated until proven otherwise.

It looks like somebody dropped a cruise ship onto the side of a hill.

“Here we go again...”

“Not too many people know about this Amelia Earhart, she rode in a plane back in the Civil War — oh thanks Jared, Jared here’s brought me a photo...wait, where are her boobs? You sure that’s a chick??”

Based on the statement from NASA, we’ve gone back to the company to inquire about the claim and removed the claim from our site until we get additional verification.

I’ll be in my cabin.

Well, Pammie is rather famous for her insanely bad taste in men, so...

Yes. He would want you to laugh. Also to give him some crack.

I hear Canadian boarders are very polite and don’t eat all your peanut butter or take a really long time in the shower. Confirm/deny?

The problem with that is apparently Merkel found Ivanka much more informed and intelligent than her daddy.

Mike Pence is virulently anti-gay, to the point of recommending conversion therapy. Trump thinks this is just fine.

What the hell was the point of this?