Unfortuntely Andy Reid wasted all of them

Travis Kelce does elaborate dances after touchdowns, makes jerking off motions toward refs on the field, gets a stupid unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after dropping an important pass in a playoff game, and has his own reality show in which women compete for the chance to date him. Yet somehow he doesn’t get half the…

I must’ve been watching the wrong game cause Buck and Aikman had their mouths so full of cowboy dick I couldn’t understand them.

Good game. Great ending.

First man that grabs my pussy will hAve to seek medical attention in order to retrieve his balls from his throat, which is where their final resting place will be from me kicking them so hard.

In which case, I hope the lady in question comes back and pinches his nuts between her fingers until they leave little crescent fingernail bruises on his saggy old man scrotum.

Another friendly reminder that political correctness is simply treating people with respect. So yea, he’ll probably be acquitted.

A traitor to the country is a Great American according to Mississippi.

In the South a traitor is considered a Great American.

Well, with all the injuries he’s had, he’s certainly not running away from basketball.

“What’s attendance mean?”

Well, Bob, I wouldn’t say he’s MISSING the Knicks game.

The rest of the Knicks showed their solidarity with D Rose by also failing to show up for the game.

This is the payoff on the long con of typewriter inventor Jerry Qwerty.

Since he was suspended for a full year, we know the answer is not “his wife’s face.”

Jerry Jones issued a statement that as long as the suspension was for drugs, and not for almost killing a woman with your bare hands, he has no problem with the league’s decision.

I’m happy for her, Meek was a rusty anchor that would have kept dragging her down, but I pray that the twitter jokes stay jokes and she never has the idea to do a Pink Lemonade.

The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

Keep in mind, these are the same people that mock the concept of triggering and safe spaces. The people that go on television and break down in tears over “No, the white guy right there.” They mock triggering and safe spaces.

Fuck Tom and all the Toms of the world.