I have also done this, in some industrial club in Venice LA back in the '90s, and I was only moderately drunk. I actually looked myself in the eye, and said 'excuse me' three times before charging straight into it. And then I felt like the biggest idiot.

I think you could shorten that list to:
Don't race anything fast.

The rounded Ford sedans - 2000 -2004. You still see plenty of Explorers and Mustangs from that timeperiod, but few jellybeans. I guess everyone that had one upgraded to newer versions.

I'm pretty sure the Honda manual doesn't tell you that to change the dash display, you push the little stick out thing you only press to reset the mile counter on every other car.

No not really. The Flex compares poorly to the actual big selling minivans. Not enough latch systems, seats aren't nearly as configurable. It's a minivan for people without kids, and nobody who doesn't have kids wants a minivan -ie it's a car for a market that doesn't exist.

In the long run, our country(ies) would be much healthier if our citizens saved well and bought only things they could actually afford.

What exactly is it you liked about Under the Skin? I thought it was boring, cheap, and lousy. I was actually mad about spending the dollar on RedBox on it. What did I miss?

We checked out Chrysler vans - my inlaws have a 2005, and a 2014 is exactly the same vehicle on the inside. That's terrible.

I don't turn mine on until I can't see much of anything at all. Waiting and it's not that different from driving at night.

Wife's minivan has lots of useless features. I think they are all standard though, so I guess they don't count.

Pickup with one of those old-school campers on the back. You can hose that out, but Donnie Drunkie can't jump out the side when you pass the place with the tasty cheese fries.

I'm too lazy to work, too nervous to steal to get a Maybach!

I rolled up to one of those once in a Chevy Suburban.

Says you. Apparently now they can, and also the punishment for stealing cigarettes from a convenience store is the death penalty.

You should. She's actually not that big a part of the show, and all the male characters are pretty funny. The "We Should be Cops" movie currently gracing your local dollar theatre is actually a product of New Girl casting.

You forgot the most complex: Have sex with another partner while your current partner is staying with you at your relative's home in a distant city from their own relatives, and they (relatives and partner) don't like each other very much. Just breaking away from your current partner to go to the bathroom is 12…

He's completely right, and didn't even mention that Honda blows every other manufacturer out of the water when it comes to 'latch systems' for car seats. Most don't even put any latches in the 3rd row for crossovers and most other minvans only get one. Who else sits back there but people strapped into car seats? I…

This season was a major drop off compared to the last in my opinion. When you say 'better', I say the last season with the NASCAR vs Mp4C race was phenomenal as was the Icelandic challenge and 'best SUVs'. Those were all great episodes or segments. This season had a lame motorcycle challenge and some other challenges…

I like the assumption that the person who called you 'basic' knows enough about your personal tastes to know if you are 'basic' or a free spirit that just happens to conform to some generic consumerist traits.

I enjoy that modern slang that is so obtuse that you need about 8 paragraph lecture to explain it. Even the single sentence breakdowns in the article itself would require a dictionary to unpack it: being basic just means that you aren't that dope.
So you are just sort of dope I guess, but not that dope.