Omg, Amazon reviews. The book Black Mass, the one about Whitey Bulger, at one point had over 100 "reviews" by a deeply insane person who was convinced that he was secretly Whitey's son who'd been given up for adoption, and that everything that had gone wrong in his life was because of Agents of the Conspiracy who…

It's okay, though, because I'm sure he never brings it up in person when anyone's talking about restaurants, or water, or really anything at all. I'm sure no blind dates have ever referred to him afterwards as "that guy with the weird tap water obsession." He comes across as far too laidback to behave like that.

As a Bostonian, I would pay double the normal coffee price to go to a place with laughing, singing baristas. Wait, no, triple. People would form crowds on the sidewalk, staring in through the glass in awe and wonder like zoo patrons watching a baby panda.

I like to think I have an active imagination, but I just can't figure out how those three things fit together. Were the heels sharp, and were you waving them around like semaphore flags during the blowjob?

Did you put up that user icon for this story? It's perfect.

Boston.com's saying the house is in an "over 55 community", for what that's worth.

I look forward to useless comments like this in other stories. "Well, I went to Nigeria and I didn't get kidnapped!"

Where are all the Burning Man stories? Isn't the entire point of Burning Man to give people the ability to answer this question with things like "Inside a giant rolling fallopian tube, while we were both hypnotized and thought we were giant snakes"?

But did you get in the show??

Why do I feel the sudden urge to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show again?

There has to be at least one Samuel or Samantha working at Poise. Were they involved in picking this product's name? Did anyone run the idea of the name by them? Most importantly, can I get a gif of their faces the first time they were shown this commercial?

Massachusetts Walgreens are also sadly booze-free, unless by 'booze' the author means Listerine and/or cough syrup.

I can see both sides here. But from the perspective I gained when I was oakentoddler, lived next door to the church my father preached in, and crashed about a dozen wedding receptions I can testify that watching people dance at weddings can be an amazingly fun spectator sport and that leftover wedding cake + leftover…

Lululemon continues to be the answer to the question "What if the villains from 'Mean Girls' got rich and created a clothing brand?"

I would actually have to (grudgingly) respect him if he'd done this. I mean, I'd still want him to spend some time in quiet rooms having very serious talks about the bad choices he's made in life, but evoking Mooninite Day with his "art piece" would have shifted this all to a different level.

Oh, jeebus, all those "quirky" sound effects they do? They're the morning FM DJs of the podcast world.

Seriously. A soda that's basically uber-caffeinated Fresca? Where for once the diet version actually tastes exactly like the calorie-filled brand? For it to be gone while Red Bull still exists is a crime against humanity.

Is he up for re-election? I bet there are a few NBA players who are much more interested in his opponents' fundraising emails than they were last week.

Was Tiger Mom published by Simon & Schuster too? Is this their Thing now?

That's actually a better, more succinct pitch than half of the real ones out there. There are basically two types: ones like your hypothetical, which are "I'm an artist and would like to make a creative endeavor; help give me the funds with which to do it and reap the rewards of the endeavor"; and much more vague…