Pass me a Kleenex. I’m getting all teary over here thinking about the indignities suffered by those poor rich people who voluntarily spent millions of dollars to purchase real estate in Trump Tower.

NOPE. Rabies is fucking terrifying. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

I’ve also resolved to talk to the kids directly about what they want from me

You’re welcome :-)

Teen Vogue is a great first step.

Related: their lawyers are makng f-ng bank.

Somewhere Alex Jones is beating off into a tinfoil hat.

Maybe if they were religious they would still be together and happy.

I was sort of hoping it was the Fixer Upper couple bc I’m a bad person.

I would’ve loved the hot chocolate bar/Teen Vogue session when I was their age. Great idea!

Education is not on mom’s radar, and dad seems to think education is something that happens at school only.

Me too! Mine are almost 18 and 15, and I’m also quite young for teens (my husband is several years older than me). It is especially hard when you disagree with your husband’s decisions, I find. I never know how much of an opinion to express, especially when I don’t have children myself - like, what the hell do I know?

Order her Scientific American. Interesting articles that are written in a way for the average person to understand.

I think I love you.

It’s really, really NOT body shaming. I seriously do not understand how they came to that conclusion. I mean... WUT?!

Somewhere in hell, Joe McCarthy is muttering, “Wait, what? He’s a Republican? and he’s letting Russia do WHAT?”

the Mayan apocalypse was just like “hey, they elected a Black Man for President? i can call this shit off now, humanity saved.” but now, i hear it’s been having second thoughts.

Yes, please don’t increase your degree of difficulty by getting pregnant. Focus on your PhD.

Do not get pregnant.

Oh, God.