Smashing Pumpkins, 1997; I was a junior in high school and my friends and I all wore black lipstick. We snuck past security down to stage level after the concert and Billy Corgan looked directly at us and waved. It was transcendent.

BTW, I have actually been citing your story all over town when discussing the importance of SOMEONE on ex-wife detail. As we are also having cupcakes at our wedding, the “Bride” cupcake-eating is particularly germane.

We actually went to our tasting the other day and the wedding planner heard my fiancé and his parents talking about what to do about the ex. She volunteered that they’ll have a cop on duty for security and all we need to do is provide a picture. Problem solved!

And now because of social media (not to mention the family pictures taken at every single one of my huge Catholic family’s multiple weddings per year) I feel like the one cocktail dress that could last all four weddings really can’t because I will be “that girl who always wears that one dress” even though I’ve worn it…

And when you’ve got a hundred or more people coming, do you even notice (or CARE) if someone doesn’t get a gift? I’m imagining myself writing thank you notes, seeing that someone didn’t get us a gift, and thinking, with absolutely no emotion: “They didn’t bring a gift” and then carrying on to the next thank you note.…

Thank you for that analogy. I have a pilot friend as well who I’ve been meaning to hit up for similar advice.

Our venue’s wedding planner today told us that we can submit a picture of the ex-wife to security because she will do anything in her power to derail the wedding; I’m afraid she’ll do what another jezzie said happened at her wedding: the ex crashed the wedding, ate from the buffet, sat down at a table, and finished…

Yeah, she’s got some serious mental health issues that are unmanaged so based on the literature we’re in for a couple more weddings like that. I doubt this is the last. I’m totes jealous of your normal ex- situation!!!

Especially to a wedding.

We have our registry on the website (so that we don’t get weird stuff), but used the “your presence is present enough” language. We are going to talk to our out-of-town folks and students separately (especially the ones who we know have less money) and insist on no gift.

I didn’t pay for my bridesmaids’ dresses, but I’m paying for their hair, nails, and make-up; putting some money towards the shower; and I’ve helped the out-of-town BMs pay for their plane tickets. We are doing a stock-the-couple’s-bar shower so they can pick up a bottle of wine as a gift. I’m also threatening violence…

All of the things you just said. All of them. We are also doing a big to-do, one: because my family is Catholic and expects a party (which we are happy to provide) and two: my future stepkids came home from school one day on a Monday and their mom was married, after having promised them that they would get to wear…

How are you liking the IUD? I’m considering one but probably trying to get pregnant in the next couple of years, so I guess I’ll hold off. There was a Jezebel article about it a couple of weeks ago and reviews seemed pretty idiosyncratic and mixed.

I am very sad about all the pain that apparently can come with period sex. I am also sad about the fact that going off birth control is apparently the only way one can inspire pregnancy . . .

Not judge-y. Just curious/uneducated as I’ve never heard my friends complain about this either. As I said above, I know if I had cramps (or other pain) it might be different. I’m glad it’s an issue women have and it’s not that their partners are simply turned off.

This is a very delayed comment as I know this thread was started months ago, but I am terrified of this happening at my wedding. My fiancé’s ex-wife is batshit crazy and we’ve tried to keep the date from her but we can’t explicitly tell the kids not to let it slip. I’m considering getting a restraining order against…

When we’re on vacation and I get my period, we literally go to CVS and pick up a red beach towel so housekeeping doesn’t think there was a murder in our room. Because there’s no way in hell I’ll compromise vacation sex.

Sure. That sounds reasonable. I guess I was just surprised at the number of bad honeymoon stories that involve periods. Also, I’m on birth control and have been for forever, so I’m sure I could feel the same if I wasn’t on it. Actually, I should be more conscious of if our honeymoon is the week before my period,…

Who are all these folks who don’t have sex on their periods? I get fairly heavy periods and we kind of just power through, although I don’t have cramps or anything, and I imagine that would change things. I guess I just assumed if I got my period on our honeymoon we would just throw a towel down (a brown towel?) and…

My first thought, too. I used to do child abuse prevention training for the Y and if there’s one thing we hammered into camp counselors heads, it’s the Rule of 3, dammit! Break any other rule and we’ll talk, but you should never be alone with a kid!