So I don’t know if people heard, but there was an incident with a Big Apple Bagels in Indy over the weekend as well. Someone posted this picture as something they saw at the location:

I’m vegan and the pic of the reuben sandwich that was up on BCO for all of last week made me drool every time I saw it.

Gay. Fucking. Mafia.

Hey, now. The dems gave us a candidate that ran on the platform of . . . ready for it? His mustache. Literally, his most recognizable quality was his mustache.

I think the drama and also the fact that a lot of the women on the show aren't traditionally attractive. A lot of them are actually weird-looking by society's standards. If that doesn't prove that you don't have to look like an A&F model to take a good picture, I don't know what does.

If you're working your eyes hard, you don't have to do much. It also depends on what it's for. If you're taking a pic with friends it will obvs look weird if you bite your lower lip, or purse your lips a bit. Work with levels of smiles, complimented by levels of eyes. Tyra calls it "smizing" because your eyes are…

I think that's most def what we call "ugly-sexy." Work it.

This is crap and they are asshats. I would recommend working with a photographer before your wedding. You might book a session with your photographer for engagement pics or something, and he or she can walk you through it. Or literally find a model and pay them to work with you in front of a mirror if you can afford…

It's really about angles. Tilting your head down, sticking your neck out a bit, finding your best profile and tilting a bit to show it. Knowing where light is and knowing where it will hit on your face and what effect it will have. Work with your eyes; a lot of "bad" pictures have dead eyes. You don't have to smile…

Watch America's Next Top Model. I'm serious. I used to take terrible pics. When I was in grad school I got into ANTM; now people tell me all the time how photogenic I am. I even got asked to do an ad campaign for work. I owe it all to ANTM.

I know, I know. This was so hard!

I don't know anything about how to do a puppy gif, but I'm in Indiana now and luckily the only friends I've seen on social media who don't despise everything about the bill are the ones who are like, "But, GUYS, it's not really about discrimination! It's a really important bill! GUYS!" It's super annoying.

I've told this story on here before, but my cousin's wife dressed their daughter in a long white dress and stuck her in the front of all the family pics so she looked like a flower girl. Which she wasn't. She was pissed because kids weren't invited to the reception.

Another challenge is these god-awful engagement and wedding pictures of "The Ring" or "The Rings." I do not want those pictures. I think they are cheesy as hell and say "Look how much money we want you to think we have."

I assume it is one of those things that will just take years of our being together to figure out, because it's a pretty tough habit to break.

This makes me feel better about the Newport, RI wedding of my cousin. The tab was over 100k. And they were talking divorce a month later.

Our invite is 250 and I will be SO HAPPY if we can get attendance down to 175. SO HAPPY.

Ding-ding-ding! I had forgotten about parents. I know people who did this.

I wish I could star this 10000000000000000x. All the xs. No fucks. No fucks whatsoever.

I think I will start using that: "I'm not getting married for the jewelry." Awesome. Better than quoting the entire paper cited above, which is what I would tend to do.