Dear Penthouse,

He’ll be fine, Denver's the perfect place to spark up a Bol.

Nah- Bettman has pissed off two countries, so he’s an international disgrace.

Just get rid of him already, all these fucking people and their disgusting fucking edgy streams, learn some manners and laws because this shit is tiring.

I voted right, but that’s just my answering ear. I switch back and forth based on how quickly my arm gets tired. So I’m ambi-earious because of my weak arm muscles.

papa juan.

Never forget their sacrifice

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

It’s incredibly frustrating as a fan to be able to find only a few Americans who were raised on MLB/NFL/NBA/NHL games like I was who also like cricket, and the TV thing is the main reason. You pretty much have to be married to/in a relationship with a person who is from a cricket playing nation, or have lived in such…

These aren’t mutually exclusive, you judgmental ass. And i was trying to generate a bit of dark humor, but since that was obviously lost on you, let’s examine, shall we?

I spent 30 minutes in line at a street festival in 70 degree weather to pay $8 for an award winning tamale yesterday and got a little sunburned, so I know how they feel.

the supply from this particular artist has decreased since his execution

And to think, it all started with a disagreement over what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

I haven’t finished the essay yet, I got to the part where Victor was trying to get the info to call Drew’s wife but couldn’t unlock the phone.

I was legit worried about Drew when I heard what happened.  I had too hoped that he would write in the way that Drew does about this.   

Get well Drew.

“This is some pretty heavy stuff.”

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

Oh my fucking god, Drew! I’m so sorry that you went through that and I’m so fucking happy you’re alive! To share I went through something milder than that last year. I had 3-4 episodes where I was shaking badly. One time when I was going to work and it was so bad I couldn’t put the lid on my coffee; a stranger had to…

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.