Damn it Aquaman, we need you to fight the frequent sharknadoes that plague mankind!

His band-mates truly appreciate gifts of used condoms, unlike those ungrateful Hollywood jerks.

I prefer the traditional Cheeto delivery method of fork and knife.

So many people have come to comment on how obviously stupid this is that the AVC's algorithm has deemed it a top story.

YOU'RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!!!