Dikembe continued “From now on I will no longer be using e-mail, to prevent this from happening again. Who wants to text Mutombo?”

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

Tim Duncan has been pretty much non-existent for the Spurs this season, and they are still 18-5.

Father: Let’s name him Kris. Kris Kobach.

“This is what I was talking about.”

Really failed opportunity for pan-Deadspin memetic synergy with the “had literally no pages” thing.