Gnomes!

Level of queasiness thus far: that weird gnocchi scene between Sofia Coppola and Andy Garcia in The Godfather Part III.

Exactly.

My mom grew up very poor, and pulled herself up to the point where she made a very good income. In fact, she made as much as my dad. In 1968, when I was 10 years old and she was 52, she left my dad for the man who would eventually become my step-father. We moved into a house he owned in a suburb of San Francisco. My…

What you said a thousand times.

Leo will win because he should have won for other roles (Revolutionary Road, for example) and the field isn’t that strong this year, but I thought it was more of a re-acting job than an acting performance — if you put me in an icy river or deep in the snow and make me crawl through it for days on end, risking…

Invasion of the Body Snatchers is one exception. At least as good as the original, sez me.

What would her narrative be if the husband of the mistress confronted David at the USC game and punched him for screwing his wife? Shannon is not the only injured party here. I realize this was a horrible experience for her, and she wants to “win” by keeping her marriage together, but sometimes a marriage is just not…

Yup. McCain stooped even lower than Bush Classic with Dan Quayle. I never thought it would have been possible.

Oh hell yes to Buckaroo Bonzai. No matter where you go, there you are.

Get a rectangular tote that’s taller than it is wide, so it tucks under your arm. Neutral color. I like black in all things, but anything neutral will work.

I feel you. I’m very athletic and I have big thighs, too. These aren’t cheap, but they are designed for girls who don’t have pencil legs: http://www.relentlessjeans.com/collections/wo…

Start with the nice jeans (best if dark wash), and get a couple of good pairs of shoes — nice boots for winter, a good pair of flats. Get a button down blouse and maybe a dark turtle neck for winter and invest in a really nice blazer or two. Get the blazer altered if you need to, so the sleeve are good and it fits you…

I went to Catholic school, first through eighth grade. It was the first day of third grade, 1967. We had mostly nuns teaching, but this class was taught by a lay teacher (that would be a non-nun, for you public school kids). Anyway, since this was our third year in Catholic school, we were no dummies. We knew they…

She said in an earlier episode that she insisted David give her every detail of the affair — every restaurant he ever went to with the other woman, every meeting date, etc. I doubt he volunteered it. And now she uses it against him.

You are spot on! She is all about punishing David, not about moving forward, and her kids are just collateral damage. Everything is all about her — a great example was her instance on telling Vicki about the other housewives doubting Brooks’ cancer during dinner and her subsequent crying jag over how she ruined the…

My mom did the same goddamn thing. I think I was 14. He told her I was not. Asshole was wrong, too.

Re Alcatraz, if you go down to the Pier 39 area, you can usually buy same-day tickets from ticket “resellers.” More expensive, but you’ll get on the rock.

My 16-year-old son has vitiligo. I have to say, he has never been bullied or teased for it. Once, in 6th grade, he had a substitute teacher call him out in front of his class for coming back from lunch with a milk mustache. He calmly explained he had a skin disorder. His friends were mortified for him. Maybe kids are…

OH! OH! ME! ME! Can I tell my Shirley Temple story? Of course, I’ve totally screwed up the punchline just by the subject, but here goes: 8 or so years ago, maybe 10, I was in the local market in Woodside, CA. I grew up in the area and I am in my 50s, so I’ve met a lot of people and I am pretty terrible with facial…