That was a joke, you hobo.

I ship Archie and Cheryl.

The video doesn't show him being discriminated, but he obviously feels that he was.

he also wants to not be discriminated against because of his ethnicity.

He owns buildings in Jersey City; thus, he skies in his jeans.

I think it's more likely to be the other way around and women would end up winning more often than men.

I always thought the idea of gendered award categories was outdated.

It's probably Julia Roberts that's keeping it a secret and offering a knuckle sandwich to any jerk-faced reporters that want to ask questions about it.

That would be a solid comeback. Kids that tease don't respect much, but they do respect money.

Kids always tend to sort of be irrationally embarrassed by their parents, but if your dad writes a book that ends with a child gang-bang then maybe that's a valid reason.

my friends are fat and I hate them so I look forward to summer class.

But I didn't though.

The recession forced us to cut back on portly female vocalists, but today's economy is stronger and can now support both Adele and Beth Ditto.

Yes, sir. Be careful out there. Always read the labels.

It'd be a tough choice between impeachment trails or Joe Dirt 2.

You are mistaken, my friend. Coke zero is a caffeinated beverage.

I want cops to stop killing unarmed black people and to start drinking more Pepsi!

Well, if the child singer were a true countryman then he would have withdrew himself in the first place.

I've gained a lot of confidence since I've started practicing the art of karate and I am now able to make eye contact with pizza delivery drivers. Soon I'll be able to beat the shit out of these delivery robots.

Mmmmm…Nice surprise. I didn't think I'd be eating any fresh garmonbozia before the Twin Peaks revival.