Even if you take this apology as the truth (which I don’t), this means Dave Becky felt comfortable dismissing TWO women’s accounts of CK masturbating in front of them. How many need to go through this for him to believe it? They literally were there together, so hard to believe they would BOTH agree to lie about it.…

The military decided their soldiers already had enough problems without a nightmare machine constantly lurking around too.

Crabs are literally the most horrible creatures on earth.

Jesus, that’s some Fahrenheit 451 shit right there.

Me, after reading your reply:

God I just googled them so I could see for myself, and ended up finding this

Welcome, Redditor.

Thanks- you saved me a trip over to Cracked!

Yeah, but you blamed Full House for Amelia Earhart disappearing. Not everything is Dave Coulier’s fault, man.

Ahh what a cutie.

This crab is my gift to you. I called him a transformer crab because he pulled those claws in to perfect match the top of his shell to make a little impenetrable lump.

I have never heard of any of these people. Maybe you logged on to the twinternet by accident? Try turning your computer off and then turn it back on again.

They failed their baseline tests but escaped before being decommissioned.

NUKE IT FROM ORBIT!!! IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE!!

yeah sorry to all you frickin conspiracy theory losers but I had an Australian roommate who looked JUST like Amelia Earhart and so did her mom and I was like “omg [name withheld] you look JUST LIKE our first lady of the sky, where is your family from” and she was like, “well my dad’s family is from Scotland” and I was…

*buys movie rights*