The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that women talk way more than men and men rarely make decisions based on emotion.

Thank you!

“Women make decisions based on their emotions”.

In his defense, they probably won’t shut the fuck up about Austin.

I’ve never killed a woman. You’re welcome ladies.

And have their genitals ripped apart by the hands of the grandchild they so desperately wanted.

Everybody in Austin is all “It’s not really like Texas!” which is true, except in sense that it is legally a part of Texas. There are a lot of cities that bustle around, have great food and music, and are family friendly that aren’t in a the middle of a state that is so proud of its stupidity.

They should have to carry it, too.

Based on friends in Austin, it isn’t that great. It’s progressive for TEXAS. Not for like, Earth.

My wife’s family is always going on about how we need to move to Austin because it’s a bustling city, great music and food scene, family friendly and all that (they’re from around there), and articles like this serve prove my counter-point, “But then we’d have to live in fucking Texas,” to be irrefutable.

i... i think “cramming for the man test” is something else entirely...

Then I demand a raise. And a BJ.

False, learning this skill turned you into a man, so in fact, you are counting on a man, a newly minted man, a newly minted man named you.

I desperately need someone to teach me how to man. I went in my garage the other day and I exploded in hives. I had to wrap my body in the softest blankets to soothe my angry skin. I picked up a hammer and it immediately became lodged in my throat. I had to ask men at the man store to remove it. Later that same week I…

omg unwed mothers are the worst....waaaay worse than child molestors, amirite??

Being a good person is following a bunch of arbitrary rules this guy made up and blamed on the Bible. You can’t change that, it’s just science.

I work in supermarket and produce retail. We are legally allowed to donate a lot less than what you might think because of food safety laws. If the average consumer wouldn’t buy it, donating it to “the poors” is seen as kind of a shitty thing to do. Basically, “here’s our leftovers; they’re good enough for the likes…

Hence the “/sarcasm”.