I'm assuming that everyone jumping on Rihanna can correctly identify all of the roughly 45,000 endangered species in the world and knows the compete ins and outs of the illegal exotic pet trade.

So, Mr. Smith, before you were stabbed were you wearing a shirt? When the knife pierced your chest did you specifically tell your attacker to stop? When he stabbed you the second time did you bother to say "No" in a firm clear voice? When you walked around being a jerk earlier in the day, weren't you pretty much…

Is it not strange, though, to call out The Counselor which is at least hiring 41 year old and a 39 year old actresses to play the two female leads in a movie where the male lead is 36? Surely most casting directors would've given those parts to 23 year olds. Okay, fuck the photoshop on the poster, but...

Are you sure that's what it was and not the government using PRISM to disrupt Kinja and detract from my efforts to get the truth out about this?

Ok, he fucked her once and was a shit to her and now he suddenly wants 15 minutes with fame?

Is that a dress or a bathing suit MJ Blige is wearing? Whatever it is, I'm coveting up a storm. She looks magnifique.

I hate when I click on an Upworthy link on Facebook before I realize it's Upworthy. Those pop up "surveys" are maddening!

What a verbose dipshit. Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a story about someone jerking off could be so masturbatory.

When asked how he felt about being excluded, Jaime Lannister replied...

I'm with it until the Asian model thing. Now it is I who am confused by the use of Asian model. What does this mean?

Also ridiculous, b/c I once slept with a guy on the second date...and we celebrated our third wedding anniversary 3 months ago. I'm sure we're not just the exception that proves the rule...

So this was on GMA this morning too, and one of the things they mention is that he is NOT paying child support. I'm all for hard work and everything, but in light of his previous actions, I couldn't help but think he went ahead and got the lowest paying job possible so he could avoid any responsibilities he had…

This is completely untrue. Not very many people know, but historical research will conclusively show that Millard Fillmore was a transgender woman, but was unable to live as such. Still attracted to women, this would make him our first lesbian president!

Never Forget.

I guess I feel like, if you were going to cop to plastic surgery, a nose job is way less controversial than the eyelid thing. Why confess to one and lie about the other? Plus the photos of her sans makeup make a compelling argument. If in fact one can use the word "compelling" at any point in this discussion.

No, I would be Blanche Devereaux.

I can't take the letter seriously for many reasons, but grouping pineapple with apples under the heading "crunchy fruit" is definitely at the top of the list.

Pineapples aren't crunchy fruit, angry guy. Seriously, as a fellow misophone, I understand the irrational rage, but you've got to tamp it down.

Yeah, I agree it is more complicated than that. Because Asian men with PhDs out-earn white men, while Asian women with PhDs are the lowest earners in that category. I'm not a stastics person so I can barely wrap my mind around all the variables in play, but this kind of chart is helpful:

"Too fucking slow."