The red delicious would have been the lowest fruit on the list if Kyle Wagner hadn't given it a 10, which is the worst judgment a human being has ever exhibited.

1. Kevin Ward, Jr. was gallant.

(1) That's Tony Stewart

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my best friend's sister-in-law makes $77 /hour selling cocaine to Ryan Malone. She has been unemployed for 6 months but last month her income was $20874 just selling bags of cocaine to a semi-conscious amnesiac Ryan Malone every day

You'd think a hockey player would keep better track of which line he was on.

"Holy shit, did that really just happen?"

"Holy shit, did that really just happen?"

Oh I get it. Because rape.

I'm a bit confused here. The question wasn't "Why aren't there gay characters in your books?" it was "Why aren't there gay sex scenes in your book?" And his answer was, because there are no gay characters, which makes sense.

It seems like there's a simple solution: don't allow html in burner posts. Only text. It seems like this would be super easy.

I remember when Earnhardt died, and there was talk of cancelling the next race. I remember Stewart screaming loudly about how they should keep racing because Earnhardt's death wasn't worth making such a big deal about. It was insensitive, but he did have a valid point that cancelling the race wouldn't change anything.

TURN YOUR CAPS LOCK OFF, BLESSINGS.

Thank god that wasn't a Diamondbacks pitcher or else McCutchen would die tomorrow.

Hunter Pence doesn't bother reading the entirety of a Deadspin comment before replying

Hunter Pence doesn't use the correct meme font.

Ooh, that's the best one yet.

"I was holding that breath for someone else."

you're either a D-backs employee or an idiot.

Read the full quote: "Guys have to try and get outs," he said. " What do you want them to do? Just throw it down the middle? They pitch inside as a team. We do it too. We want our pitchers to be able to pitch inside. You don't want to see anyone get hurt but sometimes it may or may not happen."