People don't go to Chipotle because they want Mexican food. People go to Chipotle because they want Chipotle.

Probably lots of people, but I don't think any of them have access to Chipotle instead.

"Chipotle's food isn't even that good."

You're new to the Deadspin way, huh?

This is all about sucking, so I'll begin with me, in a parking lot...

This is absolutely disgusting. I've gone a long time pretending this shit didn't exist, and that was perfectly fine until it started getting thrown in my fucking face. This has gone too far. Now I'm going to have to explain to my children that OWN is an actual TV network.

Nobody affiliated with Philadelphia has ever been happy about anything.

last time I checked the Flyers were just happy to make the playoffs

NOPE.

Intriguing thesis, but may I suggest the counterargument:

Man Bomani Jones is owning it tonight calling out people left and right.

So that's why the site is going so slow. I mean, for other people. That I've read about.

If there's a type of porn you've never seen it is because you weren't looking for it.

Except the ones on RedTube searching for "Black top, white twink."

They're all on Brazzers looking up lesbian porn as we speak.

"I mean, it was a pretty controversial moment. An interracial couple?!? Wow, no thanks!"

These people should be ashamed of themselves. Watching the seventh round of the NFL Draft on a perfectly good Saturday evening!

[doesn't roll over in his grave]

He just kissed his boyfriend on live TV, so I fully expect conservative America to lose their shit.